The Beaded Tapestry

Dear Victoria,

A return to work after a much needed connection with our parents. It was a pleasure seeing mother in her element. Showcasing her creative talents to the masses and supplying the production at the theater with a heightened level of elaborate sophistication.

And so it begins. The final leg of my recovery and the compilation of years of preparation here on Earth. The final sprint before the start of the race as it were. This will be the most difficult stage. Both in my physical condition and emotional trials. An error or misstep in either endeavor at this point will have drastic reprocussions in the years to come. An unhealthy physique or a final offering to the Louvre that does not deliver what has been promised. I now question my decision to revisit my previous theories by lecturing here at the college. I realize now it is tainting my forward vision. A small portion of my brain returns to the arguments made during the forming of these previous analyses of the Anomaly. It is a small voice, but it clouds my vision more the less. Somewhere during my long hours of lecturing students on my former theory of the Anomaly, I was silently whispering to my subconscious to believe in that former stream of thought.

The analogy of the neural network returns to haunt me every time I stand at the podium. Lecturing on the past theorem overlays the false form of the Anomaly over our current vision.

Again dear sister, your forethought has come to the rescue. The myriad of renditions that you have left in my care are now scattered throughout my lab space, filling my mind with the true nature of our subject. No longer the false brain model that we pinned the Anomaly into, but the elaborate structure resembling more a piece of music than an electrical diagram. A form emitting not only the limited electrical signals concurrent with a neural network, but a form emitting wavelengths and frequencies through all ranges and not simply the neuronal map we once envisioned. The electrical patterns are still there; sending out chemical messages down synaptic like tentacles, but the music is also there in your creations. I can hear the changing frequencies as I gaze at the current recreation adoring my work bench. It is exceptionally prominent in this piece. This is the last item you sent me from on board the Derringer 8. Whenever my mind slips back to my past years of thought, I pull this piece out and study it until my analogy realigns. The once prominent model of the neuronal relations to the phenomenon shifts and there again is my vision of a multifaceted being. One capable not only of thought, but also of creation. Creation in both matter and sound. An astral composer, creating and repairing as it occupies our space.

This practice returns me to my given path, pushing away the temptation to fall into ruts of the mind; those memories and analogies that once filled my designs above all else.

We now must look at our subject of study as an improviser. Adjusting and manipulating to meet the purpose it has set for itself. We do not as yet know what that purpose is, but to think of it as only a structure to relay neural messages will limit our sphere of eminence. The final achievement of creating a product that will change the nature of mankind here on Earth, will require clarification on the true nature and purpose of the Anomaly. What drives it and where its ultimate destination will lead it. A soulless electrical engine does not have the capabilities we are observing. It appears more similar to an artificial intelligence, developing and evolving into consciousness, than an unthinking machine. We cannot look at the Anomaly without understanding its intent.

Without intent it is only a muddled collection of electricity and wave emitters; purely current, colors and sound.

Love,

Annalis

Focus

Focus on the present not the past.

I should never have ventured into the desert alone.

Focus

Focus on the present not the future

The delay in my departure is every day on my mind. A constant reminder of the accident.

Dear Victoria,

I repeat this mantra almost hourly during this difficult time of recovery. Attempting to remain in the here and now. Deliberately remaining where I am and nor where I want to be.

Not being an idle person as you know, the hours of tedium are wearing on my being. The only saving grace has been your correspondence. The first offering will be treasured as a memento, symbolizing the start of our adventure. Although my part is delayed by a year, I feel I am with you on the initial leg and look forward to joining you further down the timeline. Continuing to write during this separation, both in time and space, is an excellent idea. My later letters will not reach you until after my arrival at our new destination, but we can share our thoughts in this manner. It will also create additional insight into our joint endeavors and supply some much needed comfort.

Your absence is felt every moment during this time of separation.

Love

Annalis

Dear Annalis,

Such a jumble of emotions travel through my brain as I complete the final Equine entry, drawing to a close this amazing journey I have traveled with the creature. It is heartbreaking on one hand, having no longer a means of contact, but also the anguish felt by the creature when it describes its encounters. It is not the dark ending I envisioned, but it leaves so many questions unanswered that I was left motionless as I held the journal at the last page. I turned to my newest rendition and screamed in frustration at the painted image. There is a part of me that wishes I had never started this conversation, but I know there must be a reason. The leaps in time the Equine relates are very confusing, similar to skipping back and forth between the pages of a history book. It did seem to me these last notes pertain to the Flynn Foundation satellite. I have never thought of that amount of suffering concentrated in one area and the type of aura it would emit, but I suppose a creature that is so apathetic would be drawn to it.

I am trying to grasp what the world was like where the Equine originated from. It seems as hard for me to imagine, as it was for the Equine to accept ours. I think of how difficult it was for me to adjust to this new planet. It must have been mind altering to be pushed into another continuum, with no hope of returning. I am no expert on theoretic studies, but this seems an area of investigation for them. I cannot wait to hear your thoughts and conclusion in regards to the Equine Conversations. Your scientific and analytical mind will pick out much more information than my emotional view. I see only the pain and elation reflected from these pages. You will see the empirical proof and the theoretical possibilities the Equine is relating. Whatever the creature is attempting to tell me, it is now at an end. I know it would beneficial in my understanding, to read through the entries again in full, but I do not think I could endure it again. So much raw information stains my creative endeavors. Anyway, it is time to move on to the next step in my own story. As I look up into the sky at the suspended creature, I realize we are now part of the same tale, traveling in time and space now in synchronicity.

Love,

Victoria

Dear sister,

My plans to complete the final study of the Equine journal were abruptly halted by an unavoidable event. I deviated from my normal routine and did not begin the day with my run and meditative contemplation of the creature. I sat down in my reading nook immediately after arising with the journal in my lap open to the final pages. What follows are the few passages I was able to transcribe before I was drawn outside away from my task. I will let you judge whether I was justified in my neglect of this relevant charge.

Echoes of energy and vibrations propagate through the carriers of this continuum. They remain elusive, hovering in the back of her view, haunting her with things she can no longer encounter. She comes to the realization that these remnants are distant and unattainable. The ability and window to revisit her former life are no longer within her sphere. It is difficult to grasp this concept since it was once a core focus of her existence and acceptance of this loss does not come without despair. Her domicile has ceased to exist and no matter how much her ability to manipulate this current location has increased she is unable to repair that total oblivion.

Her study continues to delve deeper and deeper into the dark unreturnable tunnel of these findings before she pulls away to resurface in her present reality. The process of maintaining and controlling her structure creates an alternative to these destructive investigations and distracts her from the disturbing aspects of her new home. She avoids any further impressions this distorted cosmos attempts to produce in her, choosing instead to view all that surround her with an unbiased analyses. The familiarity of her once dense existence is missing, leaving in its place the exposed atmosphere of an infinite plane. She strives to make no comparison between the two, but fails completely as she observes the space stretching out in all direction creating a desire for her once compact life. Growing instability in her logic threatens to overtake her process as her sensors search for the once protective barrier that supplied direction. Its absence is unnerving and the gentle tides of particles are insufficient to alleviate the overwhelming fear and agoraphobic impression sneaking into the gaps in her logic. The deprivation of cohesion here gives her a sense of chaos. She pulls her contemplative systems away from the distorted views allowing only the logic function to view her outer surroundings.

Instead she turns her benevolent contemplation inward, analyzing her own composition and the changes that have occurred during her transference. She seeks the normalcy that was once her dense mass, ordered and symmetrical. That form is now forfeited, exchanged for an entropic haze with no direction. She focuses her attention on one of the wayward pieces and gives a slight nudge, allowing its fluctuations to settle on a harmonic frequency matching with that of her dwindled core. The particle stabilizes into a steady state and locks itself into a structured pattern. The action creates a cascading effect, propagating through her erratic matter, aligning each discord into a structure melody echoing within the confines of her mass. Full octaves, chords and single notes send incantation traveling once more down her inner pathways. Functions solidity exponentially allowing the analytical process of her computing systems to once again take over.

She turns her study outward, melding cognitive functions with her analytical processes still viewing the outer space. Her stabilized structure now able to negate the fear, using logic instead to study this strange existence with full cognizant functions. The analytical system takes domination allowing her to view her surroundings without emotion. She studies the myriads of filaments traveling around her now functional form. The ease of her own transformation prompts her curiosity pertaining to the material traveling outside her own sphere. Without dwelling on the consequences, she gently prods a passing filament, one that has yet to determine its function. She combines one of her own harmonic particles to the confused piece, letting it break from her own matrix and travel away to meet the passing filament. There is a violent reaction as the chaotic piece resists the frequency of her own music. A new type of element emerges from the violence and moves away from her vicinity, searching for a place to propagate. She marvels at this newly discovered ability and searches for a new target.

These last words echo through my head as I rise from my seat, drawn outside by an assiduous compulsion. Proxima is just peaking above the horizon and a dense haze grips the ground, remnants of the previous evening storm. My gaze is drawn upward as always and I see the Equine suspended, my ever present companion, in the lightening sky. Soft feathers extend from the right side of the creature’s structure, blurring the once sharp outline of its limbs. I at once envision a butterfly, its wings fluttering in an attempt to remain anchored to it flowery perch. The flow of the Equine toward a new space has accelerated. I only now have to contemplate on what this means.

I continue to stare at this long expected occurrence, knowing it was destined to happen but still in denial. I am not certain what drew me outside but you can forgive my neglect of the dream journal. I do not find it coincidental that I was pulled away from completing its pages. I will give in to this delay and return to my daily routine. The journal seems at times a guide to my experience here and I feel the need to follow.

I have now come full circle at last, catching up with myself on Earth. Whatever the Equine has in store for me from this point forward will be an unknown. Strangely I am not afraid. It is now an endeavor I welcome.

Love

Victoria

Dear Annalis,

I have just brought to a close my third week with Nikolas and by the end was able to resume the wondrous activities the complex had to offer. I was unaware Nikolas shared my interest in fitness and he joined me on my daily runs. His pace is quite a bit faster than my own since he is fully acclimated to the higher altitude and has significantly longer limbs, but I have risen to the challenge as this plays into my competitive nature. I normally prefer my runs to be a solo activity, but for both the competitive and reclusive side of my nature the activity has done wonders for my recovery. By the end of my visit I had fallen into a daily routine, stabilizing my physical as well as mental health with normality. I am amazed how quickly my system adjusted to the conditions and by the end I was able to match my running duration and speed with that of my desert statistics. This was opportune since the daily culinary meditations with Nikolas would quickly have changed my physique had I not created a counter balance. The evening rituals were not always as elaborate compared to those first two experiences, but they remained a focal point of my daily litany. Nikolas included a few lessons, allowing me to handle his precious utensils during my attempts to duplicate his instructions. I do not think I could ever come close to reproducing any of his amazing creations, but at least my meals will be more palpable when I return to the studio.

It was a bleak day when my visit came to a close. Water dripped from the eaves of the complex and mist shrouded the entire top of the cliff side robbing me of a final glimpse of the Equine from this vantage point. To relieve this disappointment, I made one final visit to the amphitheatre, filling my system with the soothing vibration, saying farewell to the wondrous experience before my departure. I will miss Nikolas, but my greatest forfeiture will be the intense auditory relationship with the Equine I have gained from this trip. I will have to discover an alternative to this aspect of the Equine at my studio, but I know it will only be a poor substitute for the amphitheater’s reality.

I am now headed home once again, full of hope and enthusiasm. It was difficult leaving Nikolas and his wondrous home but the anticipation of returning to my work has made it bearable. The first two legs of my return trip are complete and I am now sitting in the Geotrain watching the landscape fly by. The humidity in the atmosphere drops as we head away from the sea and enter the desert belt of New London. The view of the Equine is also transforming, becoming more outlined and focused with every kilometer as the mist dissipates from the air. Unfortunately the new found aural aspects of the Equine are also fading, pushed to the back of my senses and once again becoming a dim echo like drum beats in the distance. I cannot dismiss this sensation entirely even if I desired as it seems to be etched in the chemistry of my being. It remains a constant reminder of my new found affinity with the creature. I am not sure what this will do to my visual representation for the Louvre but I would not negate the encounter I had on the ferry or the amphitheater at the complex even if I could. It was a pivotal point of my time here on New London and an intricate part of my recovery. I must in all fairness give credit to Nikolas as I would still be sitting alone in the dark if not for his ministrations at the end of that first week. I feel this added aspect of my Equine relationship will be beneficial to our project, but we will have to wait and see how it propagates itself into my work. The ultimate test will occur when I am back in the studio with drawing implements in hand. Pointedly I did not bring any of my artistic tools with me on this voyage, not even a pencil, so I will have to be patient for a little longer to try out my theory. I was tempted to produce a graphic representation on my wrist pad just to relieve the suspense but I have abstained from this urge and decided to write to you instead. Ones and zeroes were never meant to represent artistic endeavors although I am sure many neural visionaries will say I am alone in this opinion. Although I love this type of reproduction created directly out of the signals from the brain, they all seem so distant and unemotional as the other categories of the arts. I know we disagree on this subject, but it will not convince me to turn to this alternative when there is nothing else to draw with.

I find myself looking inward on this return journey a little to frequently as I sit alone in my cabin wishing for some outlet for my visions. There are fewer passengers sharing my travels this time so I cannot even use socialization as a distraction. The Equine presence also is not helping as it is just a reminder of what my hand desires to be doing. So once again I have turned to you for comfort and distraction. I can imagine that the staff on board your transport are just starting their emergence from stasis, slowly allowing their thoughts to turn to the preparation of the ship for its rendezvous with the Phycodurus-8. The lab station also will be preparing for your arrival. Arranging your new home for occupancy and saying farewell to the staff that will be exiting their posts. I feel a tinge of envy that you will be seeing the unobstructed view of the Equine soon. As amazing as it is from New London, it is an altogether different animal compared to what you will be privileged to in the next two years. I hope all the equipment I installed for you is producing the results you desire and expect. I have not received any update from the lab planner responsible for the upkeep of your lab since the initial communication almost a year ago. Since her instruction were only to contact me if there were major issues affecting the data output, this seems like a good thing. We will have to see once you arrive and have evaluated the accumulated data, just how successful the lab has performed. This will be the hardest month for me. Trying to concentrate when you are so close. I hope all went according to routine for your stasis during the voyage. There were many augmented people at the mountain complex and I thought of your own addition every time I ran across them. Many had horror stories of their stasis process similar to what Nikolas experienced. Returning to full consciousness unable to move with the surrounding world out of phase with their own condition. For most like Nikolas it was only for a few weeks, but for one woman with sight augmentation she did not return to her normal state for several months after her arrival on New London. As usual many at the mountain complex were adapted by choice, adding a cybernetic device to emphasize one of the attributes of the Equine , but many such as this woman and Nikolas were not, being equipped mechanical or having regenerated adjustments to repair a defect from birth or mishap. My thoughts turned to you every time I saw an obvious replacement limb, happy that you choose the regeneration path. It may be trendy with certain genres but when it is not a choice but a tragic after effect, I don’t think it is ideal to see a daily reminder in the mirror. It does not draw my attention when I look at Nikolas as it did on the Derringer when we first met. It seems to be such a part of him now and an augmentation to his work. Something about the color spectrum and knowing how something will taste without ever having to try it. He attempted several times to explain this superpower of his but I as a mere mortal was unable to comprehend. It is enough to know that he is satisfied with his condition. Not only because he is a generational icon but also a member of the super human race. An Equine cyborg for lack of another nomenclature. I really am going to miss him.

I have received no communication from either Addison or Katryna during my hiatus from the studio, so I hope all is prepared for my arrival. The desire to resume my craft is a bit overwhelming at the moment and I do not want myriads of unpleasant tasks to fill my time before I am able to dedicate myself to my workshop. I hope their silence means all has gone to plan and there are no surprises when I appear.

We are passing into the darkness of the night so I will close for now. , I think I will pursue the meditation guide Nikolas gave me as a parting gift. It is the only memento I took away from that wonderful place and I hope someday I will be able to return, Not only for Nikolas but also for the Equine.

Love always,

Victoria