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The Beaded Tapestry

Exploring the writing and inspirations of Elisa Weeber

Month

February 2017

Letters From Victoria – Letter 28


Dear Analis,

I write to you on my final morning before returning to the studio. A light frost covers the entire mountainside heralding the coming of colder weather. The cup of camping coffee I hold in my hands is a welcome warmth as well as a vivid reminder of the trips we took with our parents long ago into the woods and highlands of Scotland. Father standing over the campfire, checking his small coffee pot to ensure the beverage was strong enough and the grounds did not infuse into the fragrant liquid at the bottom of the contraption. I do not have such a coffee producer, but the small press I do have works almost as well and no chance of unwanted residue in the bottom of my cup is an added bonus. The clear skies create the ideal conditions for these cold mornings and also present the most amazing views of the Equine. I found it near impossible to go to bed last night and leave the spectacle of the creature to the night. The creative mind within me was stirring and I sketched the Anomaly well into the early hours of the morning. I finally pulled myself away from my work when the frozen grass crinkled beneath my hand as I adjusted my position on the ground. The action wrested me out of my stupor, making me aware how cold and late it had become. It was not a waste as a study of my night’s work this morning has proven enlightening. Although my renditions are only in charcoal the surprising additions to the Equine form are increased in details I was previously not cognizant to in earlier versions. I am aching to return to the studio to work again with my colors and also to study the new acquisitions from this expedition. Yesterday I found another source of turquoise and a small sample of aquamarine. The aquamarine is not a sufficient enough quantity for a paint source but will be adequate for a tint and chemical analyses. I am reluctant to leave the area without additional samples but I must return today as my supplies are depleted and Addison will be expecting my arrival.

I have continued my study of the journal each evening when I returned from my explorations. The entrancing entries send my mind wondering in new directions and offer strange emotions to play along with the described visions as they unfold. I will transcribe another short offering in this letter as it helps me to interpret the meaning of my rambling words in the journal. The following conversation was located about halfway through the book. The material between this entry and the first one I reproduced earlier is only a collection of my thoughts on our project and how the move to New London has affected my life. It seems to really be the ramblings of my fever induced subconscious justifying my departure from Earth and the abandoning of our parents. I did not find anything truly helpful with these entries other than the guilty conscious of a sick woman so I will not include these in my corresponse to you. What follows is the next entry from the point of view of the Equine.

There is a sense of life nearby this emerging point. Complicated minds with the ability to comprehend exist within mental reach. The hunger for communication on any scale is almost an overwhelming sensation, threatening to overpower the logic needed to remain stable. The anticipation of contact after being denied for so many millennia eclipses all other thoughts. The transmitted wavelength is subtle but produces an immediate reaction in the nearest creature it encounters as a small vision of it’s form is sent into the mind. A violent mental withdrawal is sensed proving that the vision is too much for the simple mind to comprehend and she withdraws the touch. There was present only an instinctive quality within this creature’s mind and she decides to search for another possibly better candidate. Slowly she expands her probe further afield and senses a scattering of thoughts and energies more focused of purpose than mere survival. Three spherical bodies orbit the blazing heat source in this quadrant and the source of these cognizant energies is on one of these orbs. She focuses on each separately and finds the object of her search. The orb closest to the star contains the comprehensive cerebrums she is seeking. Not all are pleasant to perceive but a handful emit energy and wavelengths that please her. 

I have transcribed the entry word for word as it is written in my journal. I catch myself correcting the entries into proper grammatical form as I read but since this changes the significance of what transpires I have resisted this impulse. I feel myself drawn into the mind of the Equine as I study the pages and experience the raw emotions portrayed by the creature during the revelation of its first moments after emergence. I am uncertain if the feminine nomenclature is inferred by the Equine itself or if my own impression of the communication gave that designation to the conversation. I have never felt any type of gender related influence from my experiences with the Anomaly so I believe this is only my own mind sorting out the plethora of information transmitted by the creature during my illness. I will have to discuss this with Katryna as she has never referred to any type of gender related interaction within her readings. I have believed all along since you placed the seed within my thoughts that the Anomaly was an intelligent being but I designated it as a neutral creature neither feminine nor masculine. I believe I will retain that impression as I sense the Equine is beyond our ability to label it with such a binding concept as gender. It is apart from our understanding and to succumb to these conclusion we are falling short of the true appreciation of its nature. 

I must stop now and pack away my camp for the trip down to the studio. I have achieved what I set out to do here and am now ready to return to work.

I remain your loving sister.

Victoria

Letters from Victoria – Letter 27

                                            

Dear Analis,

You have once again returned to my dreams and your appearance has renewed my sense of calm. Although the words spoken between us are beyond my memory I still retain the beautiful imagery that accompanied our conversation last night. The azure waters of the lake were back with schools of silver fish dancing above the white crystal sands. You reached below the surface and dug your hands into the fine sediment, bringing a full handful of the fine material above the water holding it to catch the rays of the sun. The grains sparkled like the stars in the sky and you laughed as you poured them back into the water, scattering the fish in all directions. I awoke with a renewed sense of purpose, pushing the tragedy of the last few days firmly from my mind as I headed out for my second day of exploration. I traveled to the extreme allowed distance to be able to return to my campsite before dark and came upon a series of shallow caves carved out by water long vanished from this part of the mountains. Although it was very small, I found a deposit of turquoise midway from the opening in one such cave. It will be just enough material for a small batch of emulsion and a little extra for initial research. It is now safety packed away for my return to the studio and my hopes for this excursion are again high. Unfortunately the gypsum deposits in this area are interlaced with iron and are not suited for the project’s needs. Iron is one of the few materials that is useless to the project as you know, promoting decomposition in the material and producing random interference signals within the paint. I hope to find another gypsum source for the canvas base but for now my turquoise find sustains my sense of success. Combined with your visit last night I felt once again a return to my former self and believed it was time to study the journal. I relate here an exact passage from one of the pages that I perused last night. It seems to be a piece from a conversation I had with the Equine in which it is relating its origins. I have not altered the words as I wanted you to have an exact transcription of what was written with no inference from me. 

The entry reads as follows:

A wash of emotions flood through me, bombarding my senses until I am no longer myself. I am floating in a vast expanse of space, slowly unfolding my compact body which has for so many ages been compressed. I sense the area around me and revel in the absence of the confinement that had plagued me for most of my existence. Brilliant hued tendrils unfold from my core, like the petals of a long imprisoned flower and expand into the empty blackness. There is no witness to this miraculous emergence as I am alone with no sense of life within the reaches of my consciousness. Fear and uncertainty attempt to overwhelm the initial calm as awareness of new groups of sensations are sensed nearby. The crushing presents of the dense dark matter that had enveloped this life for the entire first stage of its existence was no longer there. The emptiness and vastness of this space is almost beyond comprehension. The total vacuum of these new coordinates was intriguing but strived to overtake the calm within. So much room to expand and explore.
This is just a sample of the entries in my journal. I have only scanned a small portion of the book but it seems to hold visions of the Equine’s arrival into this sector as experienced through my eyes. As I read the entries I was at once transported out into space, envisioning all that had been depicted to me during my illness. It was if I was watching an all encompassing film experience showing the vision first hand shared by the equine. I have not yet discovered any items relating to you but I am only a third of the way through the memorandum as some of my writing is difficult to read. A few pages are even illegible and no matter how much I tried, my imagination could not decipher the handwriting. It seems to be mainly a revelation of the history of the Equines arrival in the Alpha Centauri system and what has occurred up until this moment. The entries start out describing how I myself are reacting to the Equines revelations but then they morph into a first person description narrative. A part of me questions this rendition as a product of my delusional mind but I hold on to the hope that it is indeed the Equine who guided me in my writing. I feel a new level of connection to the creature hovering above my camp site tonight and I am now convinced of the intelligence and sense of purpose of this incredible being. I am not sure how this information is going to help our cause but I now feel the Equine is a part of our incorporeal correspondence. I also now suspect why this journal and Katryna’s presence at my studio might post a threat to whoever is spying on our project. Proof of the origins and purpose of the Equine would be against the beliefs of many of the radical groups on New London, especially the Cultivist. Their philosophy of maintaining the autonomy of New London and the necessity of keeping all information about the Equine sacred would be compromised if it was public knowledge the creature was conversing and seemingly collaborating with a meer Earth born human. I should have seen before the kind of threat our project poses for these extremist groups. If the Equine is cooperating with us to bring a small piece of it’s magic to Earth that would greatly undermine all the cultivist community stands for. Not only the renegades but for the core group as well. I only hope the man who was killed did not relate too much in detail what my journal contained in his message before he was discovered. If we are lucky the final message he was trying to relay was his first attempt to pass on the information about my journal entries and Katryna’s presence to his superiors.
I will close for now, The journal is calling for my attention and I want a few minutes with it before I sleep. I have one more full day here in the mountains before my planned return to the studio. Hopefully tomorrow will bring me success in the search for the illusive lapis lazuli blue or whatever Neo-Britannia material is the alternative.
Love

Victoria

Sedona inspiration

Spent an incredible week in Sedona soaking in the creative power of the surrounding environment. The mixture of natural beauty combined with the magnetic vortex of the local area was ideal for rejuvenating the spirit.

Letters From Victoria- letter 26

                                               Desert Mountains

Dear Analis,

I am writing to you from high above the river valley, perched on the edge of a gypsum rock fall. The beautiful pale material is scattered in all directions and gives the impression of fresh fallen snow. Although it is colder here than at the studio below, it is not yet the correct conditions for more than a chilled wind. I have left the chaos of the studio site for a few days to protect the little sanity I have left. The investigator arrived four days ago and after a thorough inquiry returned to Newton yesterday. He arranged to have the body transported from the site the day before and escorted Fells personally. Addison pleaded on his behalf to allow Fells to remain on site but the inspector would not allow it. He did agreed that the circumstances read as self defense, but he still needed to follow the correct protocol and complete the official process in Newton. Since Fells will need to remain in custody during this procedure, his departure was necessary. There is also the question of the man’s own safety as the Cultivists will now suspect something is amiss with their mole. Addison is now back at the studio scrambling to replace his two lost workers as the inspector estimated it would likely take several weeks before Fells could possible be returned. I sent a message to Katryna postponing her return and arranged a quick escape for myself. I headed up the mountain early yesterday with survey map in hand hoping a material expedition would clear my head and return the needed tranquility to my world. The studio is now only a place of strife and I hope it can be returned to its previous atmosphere of peace and creativity once I return. I have seen the effects of tragedy on my work and I will not risk this catastrophe flavoring what should be the apex of my art.
The view of the Equine when I arrived at my camp site last night quickly assured me that my decision to take this trip was justified. The once subtle blue tones propagating through the arms of the array were noticeably pronounced from my new vantage point. They almost venture toward an indigo shade and the rhythmic movement within the Equine was reaching out to my shattered nerves, calming my thoughts with amazing adeptness. I sat for several hours in the deep darkness of the desert mountains counting the falling stars and observing my companion in space. I awoke this morning with a new enthusiasm for life that has been missing over the last week. I had even been hesitant to study my lost journal since it was recovered, fearing the incident would flavor how I interpreted the entries and any insight I gained from them. The journal is now safety tucked away in my satchel and I hope by tomorrow I will be ready to study it. I agreed with Addison to make no mention of the book to the inspector. Fells knew nothing about the discovery as he was not present during our search of the dead man’s things and as it did not add anything to the investigation we chose to keep the information to ourselves. I was reluctant to give the journal up to the inspector as It may have been weeks before it was returned if at all.
The variety of material in this area has not been a disappointment so far and I have already collected several samples as I made my way up the mountain yesterday. I picked out a base camp site within a small protected alcove of rock etched out by the constant winds blowing through the canyon. The sound through the stunted pine trees is also adding to the tranquility of this spot and gives some color to the pervasive white and grey of the surrounding terrain. I hope to remain here three days before returning to the studio. This should be enough time to collect ample samples to keep me busy through the cold season and recover my ability to concentrate so I can return to my work. This excursion was part of my plan all along but I was not expecting to be using it as therapy as well. I will try to cover as much territory as possible each day to obtain a diverse sample selection from the surrounding area. The camp site is mainly surrounded by gypsum deposits and granite but the survey shows heavy metal deposits only a kilometer away. I will head there today for my first search, working my way up into the higher elevations. Semi-precious minerals are rare in this part of the planet but Addison informed me that relatives of the turquoise and aquamarine family are present within the area and with a bit of luck I can obtain some samples. Since I will need a vibrant blue color for my rendition that carries the correct wavelength signals of the native source material I am hoping to find one here. It is too much to expect a local source of lapis lazulis or ultramarine but I can still dream.
I have become very dissatisfied with the colors I brought with me from Earth. We were correct in our belief that the materials for our project would need to come exclusively from New London. I have struggled to capture the exact tint to correctly depict the Equine form and no matter how intricate my mixing has become the Earth materials are not adequate. I even question the oil and acrylic base I am now using from the imported supplies and have come to the conclusion that I will need to search for a local alternative to this color stabilizer before I progress any further with the project. When I return to the studio the final phase of the sustainability test will be complete and I will know for certain that the native materials hold the signals required for the finish work to deliver. I am already planning that the numbers will be ideal and the next steps can be put into place. This is a bit shortsighted of me to place such trust in these test given the mix base but I am focusing on the next stage at this point and all my hopes are that it will produce the needed results. I must see the positive now as the negative is straining to drown me. 

I am alone here on this mountain but I am not lonely. The Equine and your constant presence are here with me as a reminder of the incredible vision we are creating for humanity.

Love Always,

Victoria 

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