The Beaded Tapestry

Dear Victoria,

Here I sit, beneath the peaked roof of the dragon temple. The dark interior is a quiet oasis and the cloying scent of resin brings back vivid memories of our last visit here.  The moment I entered the triangular doorway of the Norwegian structure, my thoughts turned to you and your attachment to this region. I at once sought a comfortable perch to begin my letter to you, seeking solace in a one way conversation.

I decided to take one last trip before leaving Earth and realized this secluded village was the ideal destination.  Mixing the need for succor with a desire for your presence,  I headed for the village of Urnes.  We spent our last joint holiday with our parents here and the memories are a joy to recall.  It has been more than ten years since we were last here, but nothing much has changed.

After dropping off my things at the lodge I climbed the steep path to the black stankykje, perched on the top of the hill overlooking the village. Even from a distance I could see the ornate roof rising over the trees and could detect the smell of dark pitch used in the protective coating of the wooden structure. I will stay only a few days here before heading back to Oxford, but I needed the comfort of your spirit which is prolific here. That sprite is already healing the deep wound within me; a wound that has created a deep chasm between my head and my heart. Being unable to discuss this new discovery of the dark Anomaly is eating into my rationale like an infection. I have lost my ability to distinguish what is real and what is imagined.

I sit now at a crossroads.  One road leads to a clear and straight path with no questions or uncertainty.  The other direction is arduous, with blind curves and no defined direction.  Making the decision whether to pursue the more difficult course and abandon years of research and planning is eating away at me. 

So here I sit, summoning your spectre once more to assist my decision making in the most unlikely of places. This is one of the locations I feel your Atua the strongest. Not only because of the spiritual path you have chosen in life, but also because of our shared fascination with this area.

I am torn between my desire to chase this new element and the duty I have to the Louvre and our original research subject. The facility in New Zealand has confirmed that my initial readings from the Smoo cave laboratory have merit. My sense of responsibility to follow through with my journey to the Alpha Centauri system is at war with my desire to chase this new element to it’s source. As insane as it sounds, I am seriously considering heading in the opposite direction from my origin destination and begin the chase for this new detected signal. You are already heading to our first subject and I cannot help but think we also need to study this dark mirror. It will take an extreme effort to adjust my travel plans (and I am not even sure there is an option to find transport to this part of space), but I must look into the possibilities of chasing these new readings. How important is this aspect to our research? Will it offset our final product with this signal originating closer to Earth? Should we include these measurements in our calculations? If we do, will it have a negative effect on the influence of our product? These questions and dozens more go on and on in my head. Thus I have come here to discuss with you a solution to this conundrum.

I will end now and try to guide my path with your help and use this wondrous location to meditate on my problem. Which one to choose will dictate my life for the coming years.

I will let you know what we decide.

Love Annalis

Current project is done. A Yule gift for my partner in life.

Greetings distant traveler,

Time!! This subject has been on my brain all week. This mysterious reference to the flow of order into chaos that drives our life forward. When my thoughts travel to your distant location, your time is frozen in the deep chasm of stasis. The signals of the brain sit idle, waiting for the moment of your awakening. It seems odd that my timeline continues on, adding history to already full mental circuits, as yours remains inert for the extent of your journey. It makes me wonder where the phenomenon sits in the total scheme of things. We are so attached to our time pieces here on Earth, but anywhere else in the universe they mean nothing. Minutes, seconds, hours and days have no reference in the far reaches of space. On New London a day is something totally different than here on this planet. It may be a small difference in comparison, hours, but on a tiny satellite in another galaxy, a day could be a second to our reference. How does the Anomaly see our obsession with time? It may have none of the restraints we have. Maybe it even has the ability to transgress time and experience any slice in the loaf of time and space that it chooses. Only having to pick a moment to see what is occurring. What if it experiences existence in a non-linear manner or even in a reverse direction to our view? Not from order to disorder, but from chaos into a smooth, uniform matrix. The possible scenarios are endless. A person could drive themselves insane delving to deep into the mysteries and unknowns of time. Sometimes I feel the infinitesimal nature of my life when I dive too deep into this subject. How insignificant my time on this plane is in comparison to the greater picture. We all are given the drive to make a mark in this life, but sometimes those differences, (even on a grand human scale) seem to make little impact on the great creation that is our reality.

I wish I could ask you how you feel after leaving the confines of our solar system.  It must have given you a different perspective of how significant we are in the overall picture of things. I hope it gave you a greater grasp of your purpose.   This would bring me comfort knowing I can expect the same when I also take leave of the surface.  I have never questioned my impact before.  You know my dedication and assuredness in reference to my work has never been in question, what has occurred in the last year to change this, I am not certain.  Maybe it was the accident that took my arm, or maybe your extended absence from my life.  Something has shook my confidence and sense of worth. I only hope it rights itself before I begin my extensive work at the new lab near the Anomaly. Maybe the influence of our test subject will be the answer to what ails me.   This is what we hope to achieve with our human test subjects. Maybe I am spiraling down this emotional abyss in order to prepare myself as a test subject. I think I will look at it from this perspective.  Working to repair my own fractured mind gives an added incentive to look at our work from a whole different frame of reference.

So I began my letter discussing time and ended with a theory for my current mental acuity.  (or lack of) You can see I need some focus in my life. Maybe you will find some answers at the end of your journey and maybe I will find some before my travels start.

Waiting for the day when we can converse again.

Love Annalis.

This project is complete. It was interesting to learn a new technique.

Started working with a bead loom. It takes some extra set-up work, but I am enjoying the challenge.

Dear sister,

The summer is drawing to a close and I realize I have not written to you for many months. The days of sunshine have flown by with the realization that my claim on time is loosely held. Since all the preparations are now complete, I only bid my time until the date of my departure.

Father has come and gone. Our parting was agonizing since it felt like saying farewell forever. I catch myself misting up every time his face bubbles up from my memory. I suppose that is why I have not written to you for so long. It only brings back the emotions of fathers visit and the pain of separation. I may cry even now as I record these words to you, but I will continue the correspondence in the hopes it will purge the sorrow from my system. Or at the least tamp it down sufficiently to allow me to function for the next few months.

Father left all the relevant paperwork for my trip with me, including some additional safeguards against the ever tightening regulations against exodus. It seems ironic that the mindset has changed so drastically over the past century when it comes to immigration! It used to be every government tried to keep immigrants out of their lands. Now they are desperately attempting to keep everyone in. What an odd change of fate. I just hope the regulations are not further strengthened before November. Father says he has done everything possible to avoid these complications; ensuring all the T’s are crossed and the periods are in their proper place, but I still feel a little whisper in the back of my mind warning of trouble to come. It is always the same for me before a trip, but this is an exceptional situation.

The waiting is crippling and I know this is where the additional stress is coming from. The summer has flown by, but the days still seem to drag by as if I am trapped in amber. The fact that my brain has little or nothing to keep it occupied does not help. I have tried to do some additional research into the evolutionary theory of the Anomaly, but it is not enough to relieve the tedium. At lease my daily runs are there to break the monotony of the hours and dissipate a portion of the stress. I gave up on my response to Lizbeth. She will just have to stand on her own when it comes to her dissertation. I sent her a short response informing her of a conflict with my confidential clause and that I would no longer be able to assist her. Let us hope this is sufficient and she can move forward on her own.

I thought I would spend this last summer visiting old haunts around Oxford before taking my journey, but I find it only brings my melancholy into focus. I stopped my daily wanderings shortly after father’s departure. Visiting my favorite spots seemed at the time to be a good diversion, but I realized it was emphasizing my dark thoughts. I now rely only on my runs to break up me daily routine and will skip the walks down memory lane for now. I see why I have not written to you lately. I am full of self-pity and depression and it is leaking into my message to you. I will stop for now and see if I can fix my attitude before I write to you again. I believe you will need more positive messages from me than I need to spill out my heart.

Please forgive me,

Annalis

Dear Victoria,

Well… I am now down to the bare minimum of possessions here in Oxford. Mother has returned to London with all my favorite things and I am left with a taste of what is to come. Several times I have caught myself digging through empty cabinets searching for some lost trinket that is no longer there. I miss my tea cups the most I think, having now resorted to an old mug with the college logo stenciled on it.

My meeting with the professor went well with no difficulties or surprises. I now possess a lengthy set of instructions on my role in the removal of the creatures to their new home. It has relieved some of my apprehension about the process and cleared up a few of my more pressing concerns. My role will be limited to pick up and delivery, both at the space station orbiting Earth and at my final destination. A third of the now dormant population will be destined for life on the research station near the Anomaly, while the remaining will be transferred to a waiting host on New London. I only need to move these planet bound containers from the stasis chamber on the deep space transport to the transfer pod before I leave the ship. The creatures will complete the remainder of their journey confined there. I was not given any further information on this final leg to the planet surface since this was something I did not need to know. For security reasons it seems only a few individuals know the entire transfer specifics. This will help with the success of the project and the safety of the cargo and those involved. I have the name of the entomologist on the Phycodurus 8 who will take possession of my sleeping ship mates, but other than Professor Simona he is the only collaborator I know of by name.

My departure is still month away but my excitement and apprehension is growing. I catch myself daily dreaming of my first site of the Anomaly. I have only seen images of the creature, but I feel its presence as if I grew up bathed in its aura. It must have some type of influence on me even from this great a distance, but it will be nothing compared to what is to come. My curiosity about the affects you will have in the coming year is at the top of my inquisitive scale. It has been reported that individuals who have been privileged to live their entire lives under the influence of the Anomaly experience molecular changes. Not really a mutation so to speak, but electrical signal enhancements on how the brain processes messages. I cannot wait to have access to these types of studies. Once I am at the research facility these should become available. The scientific community within the Alpha Centauri system has been very close mouthed about this data, but I was guaranteed access once I am established within their guild. We will have to see how this agreement of disclosure holds up. Oh course I will also be obliged to share my own secrets. But fair is fair!!

Yesterday the final instrument shipment was sent to Calais for processing. I now have only the equipment on site that is slated for the baseline measurements here on Earth to keep me occupied during this final leg. There is always a bit of anxiety when I let my instruments out of sight. Even though most of the pieces have made multiple trips around this world, they have never made an interstellar trip. I hope I have prepared them adequately. The same trepidation is there when I think of you and I. Were you sufficiently prepared for your journey and the eventual integration into a new society? I sometimes question if I am ready yet. Maybe a few more nostalgic visits around Oxford will solidify my predisposition. A last visit with our father is definitely necessary. I would feel lost without his final lecture on preparedness.

Love to you,
Annalis