Dear sister,

First I need to assure you that all is well with me. I am not certain what type of information mother is providing in parallel with my letters, but I want to affirm that I am fine and have no lasting effects from my little experiment. If you are reading our messages according to  the time stamp after you arrive in New London, I assume you have already read mother’s version of the events from the last week.  I apologize in advance if this is the case since I know how worried she and dad have been and her recent letters must be full of disaster and ill news.

I will start from the beginning so you will realize why I did what I did and also the success of the final outcome.

The second week after my lecture circuit came to an end,  I found myself in an endless cycle with the data from New Zealand and the comparisons to  the Anomaly’s frequency patterns. Around and around I went, comparing my brain emissions with the music of our subject, trying to find a cause and effect between the two. Was my emotional response mimicking the patterns I received from the creature, was the Anomaly responding to my terror or was it influencing my response?  This circle of questions plagued me for weeks, leading me in an infinite loop with no way out.  I admit now that the decision I took was one of desperation and recklessness!

I packed up my essential equipment, borrowed a flitter from the college and headed out to the rugged mountains on the northern extremes of the Scottish highlands. This area is still sparsely populated after the continental submergence in the 23rd century and the emission levels in the atmosphere are still low enough to create a dead zone for my research.  It is not as good as New Zealand, but for my current purpose it was suitable enough.

I set up a temporary camp for a few days of study and sat down on a flat rock overlooking the rugged valley below to draw up a plan. Recreating the terror of my New Zealand encounter was a bit risky, but I knew I could minimize the dangers if I had an adequate plan. Mother asked my later why I had not included a research assistant in my plan.  I knew this would taint the data since my brain would know the risks were minimal, with help so near at hand, so I decided to do this alone.

Once I had mapped out the process,  I bedded down for the night, preparing myself for the ordeal the following day. Early the following morning, before the sun cleared the horizon,  I set up the scenario.  I had programmed both sets of data into my simulator, creating a mock-up of the events in New Zealand. I set up the playback using the parallel distribution process to trick my brain into reliving the occurrence. Using this method from the 21st century to simulator actual neuron functions, seemed to me the way forward in releasing me from my research conundrum. I surmised that if I could relive these events in parallel with the view from the Anomaly and the reaction from my own brain response, then I could determine what was leading.

The next step was where my miscalculation occurred.  I set the simulator on repeat, thinking it would take several replays of the program before my brain could sort out the truth behind the events.  After connecting the simulator to my receptors, I made myself comfortable within the confines of the environmentally controlled research tent.  I then pressed the controls to start the program.

There I was, back at my camp in New Zealand, the sun rising once more over the distant hills and the heat increasing to meet the day.  The smell of the distant New Zealand soil permeated my olfactory sensors, just as if I was actually back in that place.  The thrill of my research was there along with the impatience for the day to start. Then the terror of the storm bearing down on my position enter me thoughts and the pain of the instruments bombarding my body in the torrent of mud and water. The quiet calm as my mind paused along with the simulator while it stopped at the end of the data, resetting itself to restart again.  Then there I was again, at the start of the day, watching the sun rise once again above the hill, planning out my day ahead.

It was then I realized my miscalculation in the plan. I had not set up a panic button to stop the playback or a limit on the parameter for the length of the simulation program. With this realization the terror became tenfold as this added factor in parallel with the terror from the Anomaly data,  plus the response from my own data intermixed with the reading from my own time brain.

I am not sure how many loops I experienced before the replay abruptly ended just as I was viewing the first signs of lightening illuminating the violence of the storm bearing down on me.  Hands were gently lifting my head to offer liquid to my arid throat and I gulped down the much needed moisture until the offered container was empty.

Slowly opening my sandy eyes, I blinked until the figures at my prone side came into focus.  A young man in uniform knelt by my cot holding the now empty mug. Another man stood just inside the broken seal of my tent.  They were members of the Scottish park service.  It seems they had seen my camp over the past few days and seeing no visible activity, had decided to investigate.  I had been in a simulation loop for four days! The rangers sent for a medical team and I spent the next week in the medical unit in Oban.  It was lucky the older of the two rangers had enough technical knowledge to disengage the simulator from my receptors without any lasting effects.  That can be a tricky process.  It was finally determined by the medical staff in Oban that I had no lasting damage to my system and I was allow to travel back to Oxford.

So that is the bad news.  The good news is that my experiment was a success.  I now know that the Anomaly was the leading data from the accident.  It was the source of the music within my mind during the events.  The frequencies of comfort, the music of the calming and support came from out Black Swan! Only you could appreciate the significance of this outcome.

Now I only have to convince mother that I am actually in control of my life.

Love,

Annalis