Dear Fellow Traveler,

A bleak and eerie entry from the Equine journal to begin my journey, Together with the equally dark dream I had last night, I feel the desire to share this occurrence with you. I will begin with the narrative from the Equine since it is foremost on my mind. The dream will follow since I also need to relate it.

Silence ensues throughout the surrounding space. Black, matterless, void of energy. No voices rise from the limits of her perceptions. The molecular deconstruction is complete. She is the last. Constricted into the last sustaining sector of her failing macrocosm with no outlet for escape. The loss of her community weighs greatly on her along with the occupation of why. The space continues to diminish and it becomes impossible to degrade her structure further without complete loss of mass. The acceptance of her demise is complete and she embraces the final moments of her exponential existence as it arrives. Her sensors shut down one after another until only a single point of awareness is left. A small gleam of energy is sensed at the apex of her shrinking space. The spark pulses from a miniscule slice in her ever collapsing capsule. Only a molecular distance across, she seizes the chance and slips through. Condensing herself into a string of quantum particles escaping one quark at a time. Stretching her mass to its extreme limit and emerging again on the other side of the exit as the slice in the infrastructure snaps shut.

I can feel the power of this entry all over again as I relate it for you. My heart is pounding and I feel every muscle along my spine spasm at the thought of such constriction. I am normally not affected by tight places, but the idea of being squeezed out of existence is terrifying. There are only three more entries in the journal before I come to the end but I hesitate to continue with my research. The narrative continues to darken as I near the end and I am not certain I want to experience it. If the Equine was not a constant visible reminder in the sky assuring me that it survived this dark adventure, I do not think I could continue with the journal. I always did read the end of the book when the story became too intense. Wanting to reassure myself who survived until the end. Since I know the creature will survive this story I will not skip to the end. If only I could read the end of our novel and see how it turns out. It would comfort me to see us happily enjoying our finished work surrounded by an appreciative audience. Oh well, I must stay with the present and concentrate on the here and now. Dark reading brings dark thoughts as father always said. I wonder what he would make of the next part of this tale.

I awoke this morning to a gloomy house. It was over an hour before Alpha Centauri was scheduled to show its head above the horizon and I was confused what had caused me to exit my sleep. The flagstone floor was cold beneath my feet as I stepped into my workshop and made my way to the door leading out onto the outer courtyard. Someone was standing just beyond the light of the open doors. They had their hands raised above their head, tracing patterns in the air. I walked closer watching the appendages forming intricate spirals and shapes in the blackness. Lights began to gather wherever the hands made contact with the sky, creating bright iridescent pictures until the figure was completely encased with an incredible halo of luminescent and color. It was as if the stars above were drawn to the the outstretched limbs, coming down to the planet surface to dance for them. I must have made some audible reaction because the figure suddenly stopped and dropped their arms. The beautiful patterns disappeared and the speckled night sky returned. I felt a moment of loss and thought at first it was due to the disappearance of the display. I then realize what was missing from my vantage point. The Equine was no longer in the sky above. Only the twinkle of stars and the empty inky black of space. The figure turned as I realized this loss. Thinking to see Katryna I was completely shocked when it was your face revealed by the glow from the doorway. I was just starting to work out why you had come to New London first instead of your New Lab when you collapsed onto the ground. I ran to your side and bent down, You were holding your hands together protecting something against your chest. I bent closer and you opened your fingers slightly. Within the cage created by your hands I could just glimpse the Equine. You slowly lifted your burden and deposited it into my hands, closing them tightly with your own. Your form then slowly faded, leaving me alone kneeling in a completely dark world.  

It wasn’t until the last instant that I realized I was dreaming. I can still feel the heat of the Equine within my cupped hands and the stones against my kneeling legs. When I did actually wake up I spent the morning in a daze, trying to complete the final preparations for my trip, If it had not been for Katryna I am not sure I would have made it to my train this afternoon, This is a lot for me to digest on my journey. I had hoped that the Equine entries would provide some distraction from the dream when I open the journal during the first hours on the train. Adversely it seems to have only emphasized the dark emotions I am already imbibed with. I am going to wait for a few days before continuing my journal study. I would like to see Nikolas before I put any more strain on my psyche. Luckily there is no need for me to paint during this emotional period. I cannot imagine what my creative brain would produce in my current state of mind. After I arrive at the mountain retreat we will see if I can continue till the end of the Equine chronicle.  

Love

Victoria